MHA: Share Your Story

"I lived a normal happy childhood - always playing outside with friends and competing in as many sports as I could. That all changed my freshman year of high school when my best friend died by suicide. She was the happiest person I had known. She was the class clown who never took anything too serious. From the outside it looked like she lived life to the fullest. Always laughing and always causing trouble. For a year all I knew was that she was gone. No answers, not even aware it was suicide. My life turned upside down and I had no support anywhere I turned. For 7 years I fell into the darkest place, until I found comfort in the thought of reuniting with my best friend. It was passive but I had accepted that I was delaying the inevitable, one day I knew I would lose my fight. And one day everything changed again. My medication felt like it hit a switch. I woke up feeling like a new person. 6 months later, I learned what happiness felt like. I’m experiencing emotions I never got to experience past 14 years old. It does get better. It may take a long time but I promise you, it can. I never thought I would get any relief let alone happiness and joy. Her loss is still so painful, but my perspective has completely changed now that I can see the other side. Grief is a beautiful thing, the depth of our sorrow is a reflection of how deeply we loved. Whether you are grieving a loss of a person, the life you feel like you were meant to live, or the past you who you desperately want to return to. Your perspective can change, and your joy can too. ❤️🩹" -Anonymous

"I’m a 38 year old male who now looking back on things has never had a solid friend circle growing up. I was the “punch-line” friend in any group, the friend that was always picked on. But to keep feeling like I fit in, regardless of the emotional prodding, I did what I could for anyone and everyone I that group, to feel needed or wanted. Still at this age I battle with self esteem issues, I battle with whether I’m good enough for anyone, whether it be friends or relationships. But I recently, after 30 years realized I am who I am because I love who I am. I’ve thought many times of “what would it be like, if I wasn’t here.” But then I think about my family, the few people that do honestly care about me. And it keeps me from “walking away from it all.” Every day I battle with things, but compartmentalize with a fake smile if needed hiding the things I constantly think about. But I hold onto hope that the light that is so far down that dark tunnel will be closer at some point and that feeling of doubt won’t be there anymore." -Davison

"Everything changed July 2024. I went from a happily married woman to a sad, sad all alone 45 year-old woman whose husband decided that he didn’t wanna be with her anymore. It was out of the blue. It was unexpected, and it was a punch in the face, realizing that the person that you thought you would spend the rest of your life with Didn’t want you anymore because they thought they could find happiness somewhere else. I sunk into a deep deep depression and really didn’t think that there was a way out. Luckily for me, I had two wonderful friends who pulled me out of the depths of despair and loneliness, and let me know that I was loved And that I was needed here. My divorce was finalized in September and my ex walked away like it was nothing 20 years together, gone with a single stroke of a pen, it was over. I was having to learn to navigate a new life of being alone, of taking care of everything myself, of paying the taxes, of handling home ownership And it wasn’t fun. There were so many times that I just wanted to give up. There were so many times I just wanted to not be here anymore, but I realized that I couldn’t let someone else’s decisions define me. Because of people like Mattie and others who share their stories of how struggling is OK And getting help is OK and not being perfect is OK and not having it figured out is OK it really helped me. I can never thank Mattie enough for her advocacy for mental health. It really has changed my life and it has made me realize that I am enough the way I am. I don’t need to be thinner. I don’t need to be prettier. I just need to be me because me is enough for this world and if they don’t like it, they can fuck off. I am fortunate to be in a better place now because of good friends, therapy, and not being afraid of telling people how I feel." -Anonymous

"This month is mental health awareness month...I have struggled significantly since my marriage fell apart two years ago I had realized I spent 13 years in something that turned abusive and toxic I almost lost myself in the process, I sold my house, gave up my animals moved, and learned to be completely alone taking on being a single mom to three...it became the most vulnerable time of my life...I have days that I'm so depressed, I have moments to where I daydream of escaping...mental health does not discriminate...some days I'm trying my hardest to keep it together, just to fall apart behind closed doors...so be kind because you don't know people's stories 🙏" -Tiffany Taylor

"In October 2024 I was having severe panic attacks. My dad found me crying hysterically and thankfully was the one to get me help through a crisis intervention team. I was diagnosed with severe depression and anxiety and was prescribed Lexapro. I was so scared to start medication. I didn’t know what people would think of me. I was scared how it would make me feel. I just wanted it all to end. Once I opened up to my dad, brother and fiance, I developed the most amazing support team as I finally went on medication and started therapy. I was embarrassed because I’m the woman of the house after losing my mother to breast cancer. I should have my stuff together. But I didn’t and it became too much. I promise you that once you share your feelings with people you trust they will have your back and support you through it all. If those people judge you, those aren’t your people. Thank you to Dad, Rafa, Anthony, Josh, and Denise for listening to me when I so desperately needed to be heard ❤️ I promise you it gets better." -Val

"I started trying to have a baby in 2019. After months of trying, fertility treatments, and doing everything I could I still wasn’t pregnant. I felt betrayed by my normally capable body. There were days I couldn’t barely drag myself out of bed. Then Covid hit and things just got worse. I finally got help after realizing that I didn't care if I lived or died. Therapy, meds, and learning to be ok with having a different life than I imagined saved my life. While I still grieve the life I thought I’d have, I have embraced how things are and have created a beautiful life for myself that I never would have had if I gave in to the darkness I experienced for so long. I am about to finish my PhD, I have a beautiful group of friends who love and support me, and I could have missed out on all of that. I am so glad I was able to access mental health resources when needed them and I will do whatever I can to make sure they are accessible for people who need them in the future." -Anonymous

"I am 28 years old and was diagnosed with schizophrenia last month. I am still recovering from a 6 month psychosis episode where I wasn’t eating (I lost 20 pounds of hard earned muscle), lost all three of my jobs, lost friendships. I lost touch with reality for half a year and was constantly paranoid with anyone and everyone including my own family. My occupation is a nurse but I had such little awareness of my life deteriorating that my family had to make the difficult decision and call Adult protective services so I could be hospitalized and get the help I needed. I went from being independent and serving the community/saving lives to becoming a monitored patient court compelled to take medication for my own safety. And that’s part of the disease, you can’t recognize something is wrong with your mind. I had to break my apartment lease and sell most of my furniture to move in with parents. But I am thankful for such a loving support system. For the medical staff that cared for me with dignity and respect. And I’m grateful for the medicine that helps me return back to the world and my family. Because the thing about mental illness is it’s invisible. You usually don’t know you have it until your sinking in it. Both sides of my family don’t talk about mental illness which may be why I was diagnosed so late. I’m at peace with it because I am able to give myself grace knowing now what the disease is. Schizophrenia does not define me, it’s just part of my story. Medical access for mental illnesses in Texas is a hassle, especially if your unemployed. But my family and I take it one step at a time. My faith and love have kept me strong during the highs and lows, and a gentle reminder that progress is slow even during the days that seem like I am regressing. My advice would be to always talk to someone, don’t get lost in your own thoughts. It’s good to watch tv with good folks and have a laugh. To not take things so seriously no matter how messed up it may seem. And always take your medicine!" -Anonymous

"I’m a resident physician and almost two years ago I gave birth to my son, who is now the absolute light of my life. I barely remember the first few days after my son was born, but I vividly remember feeling like something was wrong with me because I didn’t feel bonded to him immediately. Every time he cried it felt like nails on a chalkboard and like there wasn’t enough space in the house. I started to spiral into so much self doubt because I didn’t feel like I loved my son enough because I was always looking forward to having space away from him. At first I was irritable and angry, and then I became apathetic. My OB diagnosed me with PPD and I started medication, and eventually was able to feel more like myself enough to enjoy some time with him before my leave ended. When I went back to work I was grateful for space from home, but also felt incredibly guilty because I was glad to be working and not taking care of my son all day, every day. Even though I was grateful to be back doing what I loved, I left the house anxious every day that I was missing major milestones, not working hard enough to catch up on my surgical training, worried about producing enough breast milk….the list goes on. But I kept showing up. I kept trying. I asked for help when I needed it. It took months to really feel “normal,” but I’m proud I didn’t give up on myself. It was really fucking hard, but I’m proud I bet on myself. I’m grateful I was brave enough to be honest with my doctor when I was depressed in those early weeks. Bet on yourself. You are worth it." -Kortnie B.

"Im in my mid 30s now, but since I was 10 I always felt off. Even on the best days, I never felt happy. It just kept going on like this for years, then when I was 18 after graduating high school it just spiraled. Stress of college, struggling financially, and finding out my then girlfriend was cheating on me, it just took me out. I decided to overdose on ambiens I bought. Fortunately my brother found me and got the ambulance to me fast enough to keep me alive. I spent 3 days in a center and after realizing how much pain I caused my family I knew I needed help. It took sometime, but I found the right psychologist and the right meds and I've been great. Graduated college, met my now wife. Things definitely have gotten 1000% better. I still have moments here and there, but with my weekly appointments and keeping up with my medicine, everything will be fine" -Anonymous