019: The Dark Tunnel

"I’m a 38 year old male who now looking back on things has never had a solid friend circle growing up. I was the “punch-line” friend in any group, the friend that was always picked on. But to keep feeling like I fit in, regardless of the emotional prodding, I did what I could for anyone and everyone I that group, to feel needed or wanted. Still at this age I battle with self esteem issues, I battle with whether I’m good enough for anyone, whether it be friends or relationships. But I recently, after 30 years realized I am who I am because I love who I am. I’ve thought many times of “what would it be like, if I wasn’t here.” But then I think about my family, the few people that do honestly care about me. And it keeps me from “walking away from it all.” Every day I battle with things, but compartmentalize with a fake smile if needed hiding the things I constantly think about. But I hold onto hope that the light that is so far down that dark tunnel will be closer at some point and that feeling of doubt won’t be there anymore."

-Davison