028: I Love Myself, Because of Them

"I suffered sexual abuse, off and on, from the time I was 5 until 12. There was a friend of the family that was living with us and I was just allowed to hang out in this guy’s van. I remember everything and how he told me he’d hurt me if I told anyone. So, I blamed it on my step dad, who was a violent, abusive man in hopes he would leave.

 I was deemed a slut and instigator by my mother.

When I was older, I tried to explain that her boyfriends were sexually abusing me, I was called a liar.

I was date raped at 14 by an older guy, who I thought was cute, but also told him no. I was called “cheap and easy”.

I’ve struggled with my mental health, feelings of inadequacy and being self-deprecating. 

Now, at almost 45 I’ve done a lot of inward work. Although, I haven’t gone to therapy, though I should, I will always be working on this issue.

My biggest lesson is having children and wanting to protect them from all of the things I went through. I’m not perfect and single mom life is so hard, but the growth I’ve done for them is immense.

I love myself, because of them."

-Anonymous